Only the beginning
by Mad Maggie
Summary: Yugi is finally learning how to let Yami go. Even if letting go means finding someone else to hold on to.  Yeah yeah I know description sucks. But this first chap is just a preface really. And rated M for future goodness
1. Chapter 1

Today I woke up and I just knew it was a good day.

So my life is changing. Every part of that change is making me beautiful.

Today I cleaned my room.

I did the dishes, and the laundry.  
>I blasted music and danced around the house.<p>

I felt his face melt away.

He no longer holds me.

Tomorrow will be even better. I will wake up, I will go to class registration. I will make my life blossom.

I seem to be falling into my own sync.

No more movie morphine. I'm ready for the world again.

I forgot how much I missed dancing out loud.  
>It's not as much fun in your head.<p>

So for the first time since him, I danced, barefoot around my kitchen. And I felt free.

It's a good day to be.

My life is turning into a symphony.

Weather in minor or Major. It's something I'm composing.

And it's beautiful.

Thank god for sunsets. I wish sunrises were as welcoming.

I'm alive.

And the pain, just makes you remember how alive you really are.

It's just one giant catch and release.

I'm ready to hit eject.

Maybe even shed a tear or two.

Give it a couple years.

My drum beats to wildly for normal.

Screw normal.

I need a catcher in the field. The rye was never so much as a lie as it was to me.

I forgot I could bleed. I guess I always knew I could. I just preferred to turn my head while the tubes were hooked up.

So here is the real question, can I save my own life?

Every journey begins with the first step right?

Here is my first step.

I'm taking my life into my own hands.

People say adventures are best left to the strong of heart.

I must have the most sensitive heart.

I cry when He doesn't call.

I freak out when he doesn't say he loves me.

I am insecure and wild. I laugh way too freaking loud.

I snort when I'm being tickled.

My mood swings are about as common as the rain.

And as different as every drop.

It would take a real man to hold onto me.

No wonder he failed.

Have you ever heard the story of the tortoise and the hare?

The one where the tortoise takes his time, keeps his pace steady and secure while the rabbit runs off full speed.

The rabbit is so far ahead at one point he decides to take a nap, meanwhile, the tortoise

I'm the Harris.

Im a hybrid. A slow, lazy nap taker who is inspired enough to make it to the finish line, even though it turns out I'm going the wrong way. You got it. I'm the type of person to start at the finish and end up in Nebraska somewhere sipping cider and singing Christmas carols in July.

At least I'm not boring.

I feel something so strong pulling me away.

I am finally awake.

Nobody can change me.

And that thought alone can shake me down to the core.

I am strong.

Baby I am strong.

I am trying to forget him.

I can't.

I will always remember him.

Always.

But I will learn to live with the memory.

It makes me feel loved.

Scared that I no longer have that.

I will have that love again.

I will.

I'm learning so much about myself.

I dream of living in a little house on the beach with my dog. Having a white comforter. Waking up, going for a walk on the beach. Making breakfast. Living my life. Going to work, having a good career. That is the life I am looking forward too.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, some people were asking who was thinking that in the first chapter. I planned it as Ryou and Yugi actually. I guess its hard to explain...Damn you mind for not working correctly! I'll start putting who's who more clearly. :P. Le Woops? Anyway. ^^;**

**Dis-freaking-claimer. I don't own YuGiOh. Oh how I wish I did. My Yaoi fluff mind would be all over that like white on rice. But I do not. **

**This is going to be a heartshipping story. Because, honestly, the silver hair and the spiky hair just make my daydreams all lemony fresh. **

**Honestly my two favorite pairs are Kleptoshipping and heartshipping. Bleh its too addictive. **

**ANYWAY! This is Yugi's chapter.**

**And it is also officially chapter 1. **

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The morning was non-eventful. The sun was rising high in the sky. The students all flooded into the iron gates. The teachers were preparing for class. Everything was different though. Yugi no longer felt a darkness in his heart. The razor marks on his tiny wrists were fading. He could breathe without hyperventilating. He wouldn't go as far as happy. No, not happy. But he was ok. Just simply ok. Nothing more, nothing less. But to the spiky haired senior it was a blessed miracle.

It had been 11 months, 3 weeks, 5 days since his Yami had left for the afterlife. And every single one of those minutes he'd found himself in such pain, he couldn't even bring himself to get out of bed. But now, _now..._

Now he was free from himself. It was like one of those light bulb moments you read about in self help books. And all it took was a song. Just a normal song that floated in through the broken window above Yugi's bed. He couldn't tell you the name, or even hum you the tune. But it was there in his heart, telling him it was time to wake up again.

Now, sitting here at this old desk, surrounded by his friends, he was ok. He could hear Jou and Honda whispering about something in the back. Seto had a glazed over look as always. Anzu shifted in her seat, trying to wake herself up from that morning haze feeling. Yugi shifted in his seat as well, opting to glance out the window at the P.E. Class that was happening at that very moment. The red and white uniforms made it easy to spot anyone of them from a mile away. Yugi gave a small smile at the white haired boy who was surprisingly good at running around the track.

'_I see Ryou is doing great...'_ He thought. He hadn't really spoken to the boy since their Yami's were swept away. Maybe they had, unfortunately Yugi hadn't been paying much attention. Everyone in their group knew both Hikari's loved their Yami's. It was a sweet pairing that made even the hardest of men curve there lips into a soft smile. It had also been the most painful thing Yugi had ever had to do. He had won the ceremonial duel. But he had lost in more ways then one.

After letting out yet another sigh Yugi glanced over to the front of the room, watching the teacher drone on about something to do with English conjugation. He wasn't one for fidgeting, but this class was downright painful. Alas he was stuck here. Until the old, tattered bathroom pass caught his eye. With a swift joust of hope Yugi shot his hand up before another would could be uttered out of the old bats mouth.

"Yes Mr. Moto?" She snapped "You have a question?" All eyes were locked on the short boy. Sure he'd grown a couple inches. Making him a towering 5'4. He cringed at the mass attention he was now getting. Had he really been that zoned out these last few months that people gaped when he talked?

"I need to use the bathroom..." He tried to talk over a whisper. But that seemed to be failing. The teacher sighed and pointed to the bathroom pass hanging on the wall.

"Make it quick Moto, I don't have all day to catch you up on what you missed." She snarled. Yugi could feel the tension leave his body as he snatched the pass from the wall and bolted into the hallway.

It was quiet. All the students were in class. He sauntered his way to the bathroom, pushing the double doors open in a not so graceful manner. As he walked into the six stall room the double doors came back to smack him on the back of the head.

"Dammit.." He flinched, holding his hands over his had to cover the aggravated area. He crouched down near the wall. Giving himself a minute to adjust. That's when he noticed the pair of red and white sneakers in one of the stalls.

"Hello?" Yugi called. His voice a little shaky.

"Yugi-kun is that you?" A soft, lilting accent came from the other side of the stall.

Yugi glanced up to see the white haired boy smiling at him.

"Ryou!" Yugi squeaked, his voice unintentionally jumping up several octaves. Ryou giggled and offered a hand to the shorter boy. Yugi gratefully took it.

"I've missed you Ryou..." Yugi blushed at his own words. He wasn't really sure what he meant by them.

"I've missed you too Yugi-kun, I'm sorry I've been so spaced out these past few months...things just seemed so.."

"Pointless?" Yugi cut in. He knew exactly how Ryou felt.

"Yes, they have seemed rather pointless. And through all that I managed to stay rather checked out." The white hair boy glanced down at his shoes, dropping eye contact.

"I've been the same way honestly. I was watching you from glass just a few minutes ago. I was trying to remember if I've even talked to you at all. If we have, I'm sorry I wasn't paying much attention."

"No worries Yugi-kun. At least we can pay attention a little more now right?" Ryou smiled and headed for the bathroom doors. Yugi waved at this friend as he left. Yugi was still ok. No pain. No throbbing anxiety. He was still ok.

_'Maybe it will last this time..'_

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Done with this chapter. :) It's only been a day but I couldn't help myself from writing this little nugget instead of my Lit paper. ANYWAY. I better do that before I get yelled at. I'll write more. Don't worry it will pick up. :P. Gotta lay the ground work people!

Much much much love!

M.M.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok so you guys are freaking amazing. I love the love I've gotten for this story. So I'm once again blowing off homework to write this. Cheers of procrastination! Anyway, on with this story.**

**Oh by the way, there is a song called "The real sugar baby" No idea who its by. Theres like a million different versions of it floating around on youtube. Anyway, everytime. EVERYTIME I want to put Mokuba dancing to that song. It's going to happen. I think I might make a oneshot of that...just for the hell of it. **

**ANYWAY. Cross yourselves, its going to be a bumpy ride.**

**Warning: Rape does happen in this chapter. Just sayin. Not much. But hey, gotta warn.**

After his conversation with Ryou, life seemed lighter. It was as if his anxiety was replaced by wings. He was glad he and Ryou were back to talking. The white-haired boy did mean a lot to him.

As the spiky haired hikari made is way back to the room, a smile was creeping its way onto his lips. It was a sweet present to the boy. He couldn't remember his smile had been natural. Taking this as a vote of confidence, he scuttled back into the room, hanging up the pass and making his way to his seat.

Jou managed to smile at him, winking in the process. He knew Jou had been worried about him, and was glad to see his friend attempting happy again. That's what it was. Yugi was attempting happy. For the first time in months. And the relief was almost palpable.

Yugi shifted through the rest of his classes with an ease long forgotten by the small boy.

On his way out, he remembered why he had kept his head down though. He felt two pairs of strong hands pull him into a crowd of bodies. Yugi felt the smile he'd missed so much melt away, only to be replaced by a grimace. A tall, black haired boy towered over Yugi, staring him down. Yugi felt himself shrinking even more at the gaze. He was scared.

"Yugi, I see you've had a good day." The tall boy smirked. Yugi let out a whimper.

"I-I did." He whispered. Yugi curled up, clutching his knees to his chest. He knew what was coming. This used to happen all the time. This was life. Life was back to normal. He was beginning to hate normal.

"Should we bring you back down to earth then?" Once again, there was a twinge of psycho in his tormentors voice. Yugi felt the tears well. He hadn't even been hit yet, but the promise of this alone was enough to shake him to the core.

"P-plea-ease..." Yugi stuttered. He hated tears. He hated this situation. He hated himself for having a good day, only to be brought down by these morons.

He felt the hands lifting him up again, carrying him away. Away from being seen, away from being heard. Yugi was alone.

He felt the pounding on his body. But his mind wasn't there. It was flying somewhere happy. Until his pants were torn away from his legs. His eyes snapped to attention as his legs were spread as wide as they could go. He screamed and begged. His fingers arching into the cool pavement. He had to get away. That was the only thought coursing through his head. He needed to escape before...

And that's when it happened. One of the black haired mans cronies entered him. He felt himself tare from the inside out. Tears and pain caught in his throat. So he let himself fade into the blackness. It was quiet there, no more pain. It was just easy.

Yugi felt the sunlight warm his face. He didn't want to open his eyes. The thoughts of what had happened came rushing back at a feverish pace. He could feel the water bubbling under his eyelids, signaling harsh memories. He curled in on himself, pulling the blankets further over his head. That's when he shot up to full attention, eyes wide with surprise. He looked around him, noting the warm blankets and cream colored rug. Also taking notice he was on a rather small bed, in a rather empty room. If Yugi wasn't in the bed, he wouldn't believe this room was lived in. Noticing the bathroom at the far right corner, he tried to ease himself onto the floor, groaning as pain shot through his back. Yugi clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, trying to force the agony back down.

"Your awake." A soft voice broke the silence. Yugi's eyes shot up, staring at the young white-haired boy standing at the door frame.

"Ryou..." Yugi whimpered, noticing the crack in his voice. He lowered his head, immediately feeling a sense of relief. Ryou taking notice of the young boy's tone, walked over to him, pulling him into a gentle hug. Yugi didn't fight it. He actually welcomed the comfort, melting into the British boys arms.

"Ryou what happened?" He questioned silently, fighting the lump in his throat. "How did I get here?"

Ryou lifted himself from Yugi's arms and plopped himself on the bed beside the small boy, a rather worried expression creeping onto his pale face.

"I was getting groceries for dinner around 7:00. It was already dark out, but the lamps were on. I happened to walk by an ally. I saw you there, just, laying. I was afraid you were..." Ryou looked away, glancing at the odd pattern the carpet seemed to make. "So, I dropped my bags and ran over to you. You were breathing...but I noticed how your pants and shirt were torn. I also noted the bruises that were forming." Ryou paused to take a deep breath. Placing a hang over Yugi's shoulder. "So I brought you back to my place. I hope you don't mind, I changed you into some spare sweats I had from a while back." Ryou let a small smile form on his lips. Yugi didn't notice. He felt broken, lost and faded. He missed the happy he had only felt hours ago. He felt his body start to shake as he clutched his arms around himself. His breath went ragged and tears were freely flowing. But he didn't feel alone. Ryou pulled the boy into his arms and cradled him.

"I'm not going anywhere Yugi-kun. I'm not. I promise." Ryou cooed. "Get some more sleep alright?" Ryou helped the teen back into the small bed, pulling the blanket as far as it would go.

"H-how l-l-long was I as-s-leep?" Yugi managed to stutter out. Ryou couldn't help but cringe at the question. Not knowing how to answer.

"Yugi-kun, I'm sorry." Ryou didn't know how to phrase what he was about to say and just sighed.

"It's Wednesday morning." Ryou stated as calmly as he could. Yugi's trembles and pants froze. His eyes clamped shut.

"Two days.." Yugi spat out. Those words were painful as they formed. Yugi hitting a hard realization. He'd been asleep for two days. Dead to the world and it's dark inhabitants. The darkness was closing in around him fast. Ryou went to leave, but a hand shot out and grabbed his white shirt. Ryou looked down to see the tear stained face of the young boy.

"Stay with me Ryou, please." Yugi's voice bordered on begging. Ryou gently smiled and walked back to Yugi, lifting the blankets and tucking himself in besides the young boy.

"I'll be right here if you need me." Ryou cooed. "Ok?"

"Ok." And with that, Yugi drifted off, determined to attempt happy, even if it meant spilling a few tears in the process.


End file.
